So Much Stuff.

What do you do when your house looks like a tornado went through it?

Clean.

What if once you clean you realize that you just have too much stuff. Well what then?

Well that's where I am today everyone and that means its time to purge!

While I did purge a ton of stuff of mine, the person with a problem I'm our house is Lexi. How does such a small person have so much stuff?

Well I know exactly how. This child wants for nothing. While I love that everyone loves her so much that they buy her an endless supply of toys, people it is time to get rid of some of it.

So here we go. Welcome 2013. Sorry Lexi getting rid of some of your things.

Goodbye 2012

While the last week has been a swirl of craziness, filled with parties, traveling, and lots of family and food I finally got a chance to sit down today and think.

2012 is almost over and I'm not going to lie, this year has not been an easy one. There has been a ton of challenges I have had to overcome not only as a mother, fiancé, daughter, and sister, but as myself. Jessica.

I never imagined that at the age of 25 I would have a daughter. She is the most wonderful surprise that has ever happened and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but being a young mom, in a new house, who is just trying to keep her head out of water is hard.

I am so lucky I have Dan though. Without him I don't know where we would be. When ever things have gotten really rough he is always the first one to tell me I can and will be able to handle it. This is one of the many reasons I can't wait to marry him this summer.

So here was the major challenge this year. Who am I? I know what my rolls are, but who am I? I found myself having a very hard time with this once I went back to work. Being in an office job just wasn't for me. I tried, but I did not succeed. Luckily on a whim I applied for a position at a dance studio and boy was that the right choice. When people tell you to follow your passion they are not lying.

I am a mom. A fiancé. A daughter. A sister, but I am also a dance teacher.

I love my job! I get to pass on my passion for dance while also watching these wonderful children grow. The smiles on their faces when they have conquered a difficult move is priceless. Seeing that child who was painfully shy in September blossom into the little dancer who is going to steal the show is amazing. I couldn't ask for anything better.

So thank you 2012. You were a difficult year at times, but you taught me so much, and I thank you for that.

Trying To Keep Up

I know as parents we feel like we must make sure our kids are well dressed, smarter then smart, our house is spotless, and a healthy delicious dinner is on the table. The problem is that way of thought is just completely unrealistic if you have two working parents. I know we can't afford to have someone to come in and cook and clean (although I wish we could), so why are we being so hard on ourselfs to keep it all up. 

This is something I have been struggling with latley. Since going back to work in September we have a very wonky schedule going on in our house. I work part time, only 4 days a week. Hubby works full time. The problem is our schedules over lap. Dan works 11-7, and I 4-10. So we have a babysitter come and grandparents to fill in the gaps. Between making sure the house is tidy, (haha no its never clean. Tidy is the best I can do), doing dishes and laundry, making meals, planning my classes, swimming lessons and dance lessons for Lexi I just can't get everything done. 

Some things have to be flexible. 

So our house isn't always perfectly clean. Our laundry is never all done, folded, and put away. There are dishes in the sink, and there is nothing I can do about it. I can't do it all. I am not super woman (although I try), and all I can do is my best. My daughter and hubby are happy, the grandparents are loving the extra time they get with Lexi, and I am not only doing what I love, but being able to contribute to the family. 

So from now on when I am stressing about how much I have to do, I am going to try to tell myself it is okay to let some things go. There is no point in worrying about little things, that we cannot change. 

As long as everyone is healthy and happy, that is all I can ask for.

My Passion

Today my wonderful fiancé surprised me with the most amazing gift! Tickets to see Wicked! Yayy!

I was beyond excited, since Dan and I love seeing musicals together, and it has been a while since the last time we went to a show.

The show was amazing, but it really re-affirmed to me why I love my passion so much, and how lucky I am to have it as my job.

A lot of things have changed recently, and I finally feel like I am back on track in my life. It is an amazing feeling, and I am so glad I am feeling great about the future again.

I will update soon about all the changes, but for now it's time to relax and enjoy the amazing night I am having.

Hope you are having a great long weekend!

Long Overdue

It's been a while since I posted, but hopefully I can get back on track.

The last month has been insane. We have been to two weddings, camping, and just busy with life.

This week I am off work, so Lexi and I have been lucky enough to have some one on one time.

Yesterday we slept in, had lunch and went to my Uncle and Aunt's to visit. Today we spent the day with my mom and sister, shopping, eating, and catching up.

Lexi has finally started talking and it is too cute! Her favourite word is "bum", but she can also say "hi", "bye", "dog", "cut", "mommy", "daddy", "why", and tons of other stuff that sounds like words but I'm not too sure if they are or not.

Since we have been so busy I have gotten really behind on chores, so since I have spent the last 3 hours cleaning, I hope you enjoy these pictures of the last couple weeks.

Pneumonia

Well ladies and gents we have finally found out what have been going on with Lexi for the last couple weeks.

She has developed pnemoina.

It all started 3 weeks ago over Easter weekend. Lexi had just started daycare and had just gotten her first daycare cold. She seemed find until Saturday when she spiked a fever. She was beet red, and unfortunatly we didn't have a theomometer with us to take her temp. Luckly we did have some tylonol so we gave that to her and by Sunday she was fine.

Monday came and she went to daycare as normal and everything was fine. She still had the cold, but nothing to worry about. Well then friday I got the call that she puked and we had to come pick her up. My mom was free to watch her so I made an appt with the Dr and the Dr said she looked fine. She did have a cold and it may have been turning into the flu, but nothing to worry about.

I kept her inside all weekend and made sure she got lots of rest. I thought all would finally be good this week. Boy was I wrong.

Dan went to pick up Lexi Tuesday and daycare told him that she woke up from her nap with really red cheeks, but she was acting fine. By the time I got home she was burning up. Took her temp and it was 102.7. Not good. She didn't want dinner which is so abnormal for her, so we put her to bed thinking tonight was going to be a long night because she was going to get up a ton of times.

She did just the opposite. She slept all the way though till morning.

I took her temp once hse woke up and alas she still had a fever. So we made a Dr's appt and just as I was starting to suspect, pnemonia.

So now she is at home resting with Papa. She has slept most of yesterday and today. Shes on meds and fingers crossed she is feeling better by the weekend.

Poor little girl. She looks so sad.
Hopefully no one else at daycare get's it and it leave my baby fast.

Hope you are all having a good and healthy week!

New Routine

Well we have finally kind of gotten into a routine with me back at work.
Iam dreading mornings, but seem to be alright as long as I go to bed early. That is the problem though. I always seem to get a second wind around 9pm. Ugh. Must. Force. Self. To. Sleep.

The only one having a problem with the new routine seems to be Lexi. She was so good at the begining of last week. Even Mimi, or daycare provider, said it's as if she has been their for months.

We must have jinked it.

Thursday she had a rough morning, and the Friday I got the call. Lexi threw up, so I had to go pick her up. I had a feeling something was going on since all week she had been miserable when I picked her up and cried from when I brought her home till bed time.

Up until this point Lexi has been having 4 hours worth of naps durring the day. Once she started day care she has only been having 1. Well after the non stop crying, vomit, and a quick trip to the Dr;s office we have come to the conclusion that she is just exhausted. On top of exhaustion I think she also just misses getting to spent all of her time with Dan and I.

So after talking to daycare, and a weekend of staying at home, and LOTS of rest we have come up with a compromise. Mimi is going to let Lexi have a cat nap at arounf 9 am, and then she will have her usual nap from 1-3 with all the other kids. This all sounds good in theory, so I hope it works and I have a happy toddler on my hands when I pick her up today.

So here I am, sitting at work, bored, with nothing too do. Missing my baby, and wondering how her day is going. I guess we will find out at 5.

Happy Monday everyone!

Work

Well here I am, already into my 2nd week of work.
It's going really well! I am learning tons, and so far it's a ton of fun!
Lexi had a rough first day of daycare, but once she was on day 3 she was amazing! No more tears, and no more clinging to mommy. I can hardly beleive it. My baby girl is growing so fast!

This weekend was Easter, and a wonderful visions of Lexi in a poofy dress, and taking cute pictures outside was put on the back burner thanks to a fever. I'm not sure what was wrong, but she had the worst fever she had ever had, threw up, and at one point was pooping every 45 mins. Poor girl. Luckly she was still her wonderful happy self through it all.

Her fever is down, and she must be fine since daycare hasn't called me to tell me to come pick her up.

Tongiht is grocery night, and then early to bed. I am definitly not used to this early mornings and full time work thing.

Here is the only picture of Lexi feeling somewhat okay this weekend.

Hugs and nail polish,
Jess

Be-still my heart.

Wow, it has been a while since I have written but here is what has been going on.

I finally got a job. Yay!!! Alas, I slowly came down from the excitement and started to really think about it.

Do I want to work 12 hour days? No
Do I want to work 7 days a week? No
Is it worth it? No

I can't imagine what I would have done if I had stayed with that job. I would never see my family. I know I would be so upset, and so would Lexi, therefore, Dan would be having a pretty rough time. So after a couple days I decided this was not the best decision for my family, called the company, and told them I had changed my mind. It was hard knowing I may be turning down the only thing that had been offered to me, but I had to do it. I just keep telling myself, this was not meant to be, and something better will come.

Well it did!

5 days later I got an email from a company I had interview for in January. It said they hadn't filled the position yet and were wondering if I was still interested. Of course I was. It's perfect for me and what my family needs. Monday-Friday, 8-5. Amazing. I couldn't ask for anything better.

So now we needed to make sure our daycare arrangements were still in place. Well our daycare provider had fallen through, and now we were in a pinch. We had a week to find someone. Let the challenge begin.

I called and emailed a bunch of people I found online, and asked everyone I know for some referrals. We went to some questionable places, but finally found a place we like, and feel safe taking Lexi to.

Well Lexi is calling my name, so this is going to have to have a part 2. Come back to see how our first morning of daycare went.


Question; How did you deal with your kids going to daycare? How did you make it easier on yourself?

Fun in the Sun.

Today was a very low key day, but when Lexi finally decided to wake up from her morning nap, (it was 3 hours long. That is unheard of!), we went out and had some fun in the sun.

Here are some pictures from pretty much all we did today.

Enjoy!

All Smiles in the morning

I couldn't resist. So sad because I wouldn't give her the camera.

Let's go outside daddy!

What did you do that was fun today?
What would you like to see me write about?

Finally!

Well, the day finally came. I FOUND A JOB! Yayy!!!

There is only one problem. It's long hours, and possibly 7 day weeks.

I know it is going to be great for me, and great for our family, but I am having a really hard time dealing with the fact that I am going to miss so much of Lexi's life.

The nice part it, it's outside, it pays more then minimum wage, and it's a job!

I know I should really be grateful I found something, and I am. I'm just going to miss my little girl.

Anyways I will get off my sad train, and be happy. I FOUND A JOB! YAYYYY!!! Also there is 2 weeks before it starts, so I will make sure to cherish my last 2 weeks home with my little girl.

Happy Birthday

I know this is a week late, but better late then never!


Dear Lexi,
Oh my sweet little girl, it was only a year ago that we finally got to meet face to face. It seems like it was just yesterday.
Even though your dad and I didn't plan on having kids just yet, you were the best surprise we could have gotten. Just a few months before we found out I was pregnant my doctor told me i had PCOS and we would have a hard time conceiving. Luckily to our surprise just a few months later we found out about you, and couldn't have been happier.
You were due Feb 21st, but you had many different plans. Jan 11th 2011 you tried to come early. Our doctor said you were not allowed to come yet, so I was put on bed rest. That was probably the hardest part of the whole pregnancy, not being allowed to do anything for myself, but it was all worth it for you. The funny part was once you were "allowed" to come you didn't want to.
February 28th I finally went into labour. After 22 hours of labour you were born at 3:09am on March 1st. That was the most amazing moment in my life. The doctors laid you on my chest and the world stopped turning for that one moment. Everything was right. You were perfect. You daddy and I couldn't have been happier. We had a healthy little girl.
The next year had many ups and downs, but it was all worth it. We dealt with the loss of my job, the loss of your grandpere, feeding issues with you, and allergies, but you were always such a troopers, and ready to take on anything.
Now you are such a happy and loving little girl. You have no problem going out on your own and exploring the world as long as your daddy and I are close by. You are social butterfly and I love seeing you explore the world around you.
Lexi you are such an amazing gift, and I wouldn't change anything that has happened over the last year.
I look forward to watching you grow, and seeing your beautiful, goofy smile every day.
I love you more then words can say.
Mommy.

March 1st 2011

March 3rd 2012

Here is a video I made for our family that couldn't make it to Lexi's birthday party. Sorry it's so long, but Enjoy!

Fitness

Fitness has always been a fairly important part of my life. I mean I teach dance. I have been active every day for the past 5 years. That is up until I had Lexi.

Since having Lexi my weight has been all over the place. My last checkup before I had her I weighed 208 lbs. I couldn't believe it. That number was the scariest thing I have ever seen. Not only had I hit 200 I had surpassed it. Ahh!

At my 6 week checkup I was back down to my pre pregnancy weight. I was 20 lbs below my pre pregnancy weight at 12 week post partum.

The problem is since then the weight has been creeping back.

In September I joined a dance class at a studio I teach at. We go to 3 local competitions a year and have rehearsal once a week. When I started I could not believe how hard it was for me. I felt like a beached whale.

So in January I decided I was going to start going to the gym again. I didn't, own a scale, so I had no idea how much I had gained back, but I knew it was a lot since my clothes weren't fitting right again.

That's when the shock came. I am almost back to my heaviest from when I was pregnant. Really? How did this happen? It just doesn't seem possible, but it is.

So now here I am, on week 3 of going to the gym at least twice a week. I am currently on the bike, riding my bug butt off. I know it's going to take a lot of work, but I am really determined to get back down to a good weight, and hope to be at 150 by this time next year.

50 lbs in a year? I know it's going to be hard, but I know it will be worth it.

From my workout today. Go me go!

Cleaning

AHH! The dreaded C word. Cleaning.

Lexi has been sick since yesterday, so she has been miserable. Since we have had such a crabby baby toddler on our hands our house is a DISASTER!

Today is the beginning of party prep, therefore that means CLEANING the DISASTER!

Here are some before pictures. Pretty scary.

Stay tuned for the after. Hopefully it looks MUCH better!

Dining room. Everything on the table so Lexi can't get to it.

Living room. This picture is deceiving. It is WAY worse then this.

Kitchen. So many dishes.

We have a toddler

When did this happen? It's as if I closed my eyes and BAM, she is a toddler.

Over the last couple months this has been slowly sneaking up on me, but yesterday it hit me. I do not have a little baby anymore.

She has such a clear grasp on so many things now, I can hardly believe it.

Here is a quick video I took of her the other day.

Lexi is going to be one on thursday. Wow.

We are having two parties for her on the weekend, so today I finally sat down and started figuring out what all I needed to buy. I have been planning this part for months, but like most things, I couldn't get a  lot of things done until now.

Wow, I have A LOT on my to do list. Here is just a sample.
Clean WHOLE house! :S
Buy poop ton of groceries.
Buy decorations.
Bake cakes. (Yes there are going to be 4 cakes! I'm crazy right?)

Well, I should probably go and start cleaning, since time is flying already.

Stress

I'm not going to lie, I am stressed.

The last couple of months it just seems like I can't win. I know things will get better, and usually I try to look at the glass half full, but for tonight I am in a funk.

Let me explain why. I have been looking for a job for the last couple months. I have been to so many interviews I can't even keep track of them anymore. I have had my fiance and my family re-arrange their days to come watch Lexi while I go to interviews. I do my best, and have some great interviews, and yet nothing has come of it. I know it will, and I just have to give it time, and once I do find something it will be great for me, but I can't help but get frustrated.

On top of me having 2 interviews today that went no where, and being frustrated by that, people today were just so crabby!

I needed to get out of the house, so Dan gave me his debit card so I could go tot he mall and get dinner while he was at band practice. After Lexi and I ate we had some shopping to do for her birthday. My father also works in this mall. We have a very estranged relationship, so he has only seen Lexi twice. I figured since her birthday was coming up I would go into his work and see if he was there. He wasn't, which was fine, but on by way over to the elevator go get back on the main floor some man started yelling at me while the elevator doors were shutting. I think he said "for the second time in a row" but i'm not quite sure. He then proceed to run up the escalator to meet me at the elevator to yell at me. Honestly I had no idea what he was talking about. I always check to make sure there isn't someone else wanting to get into the elevator with me, and there wasn't until it was too late and he was running at the elevator.

Dude, it's not my fault the doors shut, I can't stop them. Plus I have a baby with me, don't you dare yell at me in public. I was in such a bad mood already that this didn't help. I calmly told him I had no clue what he was talking about and he said "of course you wouldn't." I just didn't get it. Then while I was doing my shopping there were so many crabby people yelling at their wives, and children. I just don't know what was up with people today.

Well the be all and end all of this story is today was a crappy day. I haven't felt this discouraged in a long time. Luckily I know tomorrow will be a better day.

Lexi and I have a play date with my good friend Sarah and her kids, and then Dan and I are going to the gym while Lexi plays with Babcia, (my mom).

I hope you all had a better day then I did, and here is to a happier tomorrow!

Busy busy...

Wow. The last couple of days have just flown by. The studio I teach at has needed subs all week so I taught friday and today. It was so fun. I really do miss teaching every day.

We also are a few weeks away from competition time, so some of the girls and and I went on a hunt for costumes.

It was really clear to me these last couple days how much I really do need to find time for myself. Just going to the studio alone and getting to do my thing was really nice, but once I came home and saw my sweet little girl I realized I would never want to change things back to the way they were.

I was a workaholic. I would spend as much time as a could in my own little " dance" world. I was missing out on so much. Now I get the best of both worlds. I get to see my beautiful baby girl, and I still get to teach.

How wonderful it is.

Now if only I could find a job! Ha ha.

L.O.V.E.

Well in the spirit of Valentine's Day I thought I would talk a little about the people I love.

Over the last year I had my eyes opened to who the important people in my life are. Before I had Lexi my life revolved around my work. I would spend as much time as possible at one of the many studio's I taught at either teaching my regular classes, doing private lessons, planning choreography, preparing costumes, and attending competitions and recitals. Although dance was a "part time job" it never felt like it.

Once Lexi came along that all changed very quickly. I would said immediately. While I was in the hospital I was getting emails, text messages, and facebook messages asking about the baby, and work. Work? Really? This baby hasn't even been here for 24 hours and I'm thinking about work? No way! I messaged my employer and said I was much to busy with a jaundice baby who wouldn't nurse, so I could no longer talk about it until I was ready.

From there some things happened I am not comfortable talking about, but I can tell you I am no longer teaching dance "part time"

When all of my world came crumbling down with things at the studio, and with the stress of a new baby I found out who I could really lean on.

My fiance - He is my rock. Without this man in my life I don't think I would have been able to get through this year. When Lexi wouldn't sleep thought the night and I was beyond exhausted he got up with her. When I would call him at work crying because Lexi wouldn't stop crying he would always know exactly what to day to calm me down. When I had to make the decision if I was going back to teach dance or not, he was there. He is my life. I am so happy I have this wonderful man. He is my best friend and I couldn't ask for anything else.

My sister - She has been her for me 100% of the time. When I needed someone to talk to she was there to listen. When I was in a place so dark I didn't think I would be able to get out, she was there to make me smile. I have a hard time showing my feelings, but this year at the one studio I am still teaching at I choreographed a routine about us and everything we have gone through together.

My mom - Although we don't always get along, and we frequently butt heads, I will always need my mom. When I was on bed rest she was here every day making sure I ate and the house was tidy. (Dan worked 12-8 at the time) When we were in the hospital for 5 days after Lexi was born she was there every day. Sometimes all you need if for your mom to be there.

My friends - This was a tough one for me. I was very distant from a lot of my friends while I was working so much, but when push comes to shove my true friends were there for me. Meaghan, Laura, Kelly, Peggy, Shayna, Megan, Brooke, Kelly, Sarah, Natalie. You were always there to listen and as a shoulder to cry on. I couldn't ask for better friends and I am so thankful to have you in mine, and Lexi's lives.

So to sum it all up, I am so thankful for the great people in my life. I count my blessings every day, and I promise to myself, and all the wonderful people in my life, I will never take you for granted again.

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

I hope you all are having an excellent day. I know I have!

Today started as usual. Lexi and I were going to go out to The Museum, but I got a call late last night about coming in for a job interview, so we just had a cosy morning in.  Someone but still not be feeling well or teething because she was in one heck of a mood until Dan gave her this!

Coffee bins make everything better!

Our afternoon was pretty chill. Playing with her car and waiting for grandma to come.

Weeks ago when I look on the calendar and realized that Valentine's Day was soon approaching Dan and I decided we were going to skip gift and just have a nice family dinner the night before and not worry about it. Well to my surprise when I got back from my interview I came home to some beautiful roses. He is so thoughtful. I know I definitely picked the right guy when it come to him.

So once Dan was done work we hit the gym. Lexi got a sucker from the daycare and couldn't wait to eat it. Lucky girl. So over all today was a pretty regular day, with a wonderful surprise attached.

I hope you all had a great day, and Happy Valentine's Day!

A day of chores

Well today was a pretty normal day, except for the fact that I was SUPER motivated to get some house work done. This is a very rare occurrence for me since usually I'm trying all I can to keep my eyes open. So once Lexi went down for her first nap the cleaning began. Tons of laundry, sorting through clothes that don't fit Lexi anymore, dishes, and putting away toys. I must say today I feel pretty accomplished.

Her new favourite hiding place.

Once Lexi woke up I just couldn't resist having a little photo shoot. I'm realizing as she is getting older I am taking less pictures and video of her. I'm going to try to change that.

Someone needs a hair cut

 Tonight we went out for a Valentines Day dinner as a family. We figured since tomorrow everywhere will be so busy, and people won't want a crazy baby near them we would do it a day early. Let's just say we learn't a very valuable lesson tonight.

Deep in thought

DO NOT TAKE A HUNGRY BABY OUT WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE MANY SNACKS.

Her dinner could not have come fast enough! Luckily once she has eaten she was her happy little self, and entertaining people all over the restaurant.

Now our sweet little girl is fast asleep, and it's time for some mommy and daddy time.

Happy early Valentine's Day everyone!

Jess

Question: What fun things are you doing with your kids on Valentine's Day?

Here we go!

Well ladies and gents, here we have it. A sick and teething baby.
Lexi is right in the midst of getting 4 teeth, (2 have come in already), and what seems like a cold.
Luckily, overall she has been a very good little girl.

The only way she was happy friday was chewing on a toothbrush.

I must say, I am going to really miss this time with her once I go back to work.
Seeing her happy face in the morning, and just getting to spend all my time watching her grow from this tiny little nugget, so this amazing toddler we have now.

All ready for dance, and picking a boogery nose.

Lexi's birthday is in a few weeks and I can hardly believe it. She is going to be 1. Where does time go?
As March 1st creeps closer, and closer, I find myself thinking more and more about baby number 2, but that is a post for another day.

Playing with pots and pans

Well, little miss muffet is just not wanting to settle down for a nap, so mommy duty calls.
I'm hoping to post of here more often, so lets see how that goes.

Jess

Question: What did you find helped your little ones most when it came to teething, or colds?